Karen’s Picks:
1.) Hunger Games- Suzanne Collins
2.) Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close – Jonathan Safran Foer
Corey’s Picks:
1.) Hithchiker’s Guide to the Galaxy- Douglas Adams
2.) Anthem- Ayn Rand
Andrew’s picks:
1.) A Clockwork Orange- Anthony Burgess
2.) The Picture of Dorian Grey- Oscar Wilde
The following piece is my attempt at true satire. The topic (How homo-sapiens choose a mate) chosen by my composition instructor was supposed to be written in an instructional essay form. We had about an hour to brainstorm and write. This is the result of too little sleep, a bit too much liberty to write, and a bad sense of humor.
Are you searching for the best tips in all the dating world? Well, look no further. After reading the man-centric guide to settling down you will no longer have to worry about how to handle any of the situations that may arise in your dating life. With all the mixed signals given by women, it’s no wonder why men don’t know what to do. For example, should you respect the independence of the female gender, or should you open the door(while she carries in the groceries)? It’s situations like these that create such confusion among men. The following guide will end the enigma of relationships once and for all. No longer will men have to wonder how to find and secure the perfect mate.
The first and most important step in choosing a mate is scouting. Some would have you believe that you should follow your instincts on this, but I’m here to tell you that they are wrong. For instance, you may think that you should pick the most attractive girl you can find for your pursuit. This is a grave mistake. It is much wiser to pick a girl with very little natural beauty. This prevents you from entertaining any ideas of false hopes that beauty last. It’s also very important that your potential mate gets on your nerves. There is nothing worse than not having something to throw in her face when she initiates an argument. Lastly, when scouting for the perfect mate be sure she has a sketch past. When picking your mate you want someone with experience raising your little ones, and no one knows how to discipline a kid like a deranged ex-con.
Now, I’m sure at this point you are fully capable of scouting and the dating world is your oyster. But, don’t be too eager you still have to learn the dating tips. When in the dating step you will discover that this is the time when she wants to talk a lot, share experiences, and prepare for moving on to the next level. Do not fall for any of these clever traps. In fact, there is nothing that your woman would like more than you not talking. This shows your maturity and let’s her have time to think about your relationship without your comments. When she does have something important to say you should always respond with laughter. This will show her you have a sense of humor. It will also let her know that you are really listening to her, unlike her last drone of a boyfriend. The last tip in dating would be to let her pay for all the meals, gas, and movie tickets. This will show her that you respect and are comfortable with her financial independence.
At some point you will win her heart by having used the above techniques. That will be the time to take it to the next level. However, this is the hardest step in picking and securing a mate. How do you act while planning to and after tieing “the knot”? First of all, make sure you don’t ask her for a pre-nuptial agreement, because you want her to know that you love her so much that she can have all your stuff if things go sour. Women also love to hear you complain a lot. This shows that you care and are willing to work on the relationship. In addition, there is nothing that shows that you care more about the relationship than staying gone all the time. She will respect that you have given her personal time. This is the time she will likely use to call her friends and family to tell them how good of a guy you are.
That just about wraps it up. By using the tips discussed in this man-centric guide to settling down, you will finally hold the barefoot and pregnant lady of your arms. These tips to finding the perfect mate will have her washing your dishes and laundry in no time, and then you can move to more important things like watching football with the guys while she serves drinks. Happy Mating!
I don’t think it’s any surprise, a true Gentleman is hard to find these days. What is the cause of this near extinction? Is it gender role changes? Divorces and broken families? A general lack of desire of men to become gentleman? Whatever the reason – I am determined to find the keys to becoming the gentleman of which society can be proud.
So what is a gentleman? There is more to the gentleman’s code than opening a door or two. A gentleman should be refined, classy, and polite. He should be able to write a formal letter as well as he can mow the lawn. Traditionally, he should also be able to hold a conversation while maintaining eye contact, know how to greet with a firm handshake, or tell a good story that doesn’t involve passing out at a frat party. And, just as importantly he should look good while doing these things.
Basically, being a gentleman is about meeting a standard of class. Of course, these days the expectations of class may be a little different. You can be the kindest, gentlest, most confident man in the room, but picking up a cell phone at the wrong moment, to respond to a text can instantly throw you out of the game altogether. Bursting out with anger during a political/religious/societal debate effectively shows that you have the class of a pre-schooler. A true gentleman knows that sometimes the most intelligent person in the room is the quite one. It’s a standard among gentleman to be well-educated, well-versed in etiquette, and disciplined in the art of verbal warfare.
Up to this point, this “gentleman thing” sounds like a lot of work. Don’t be discouraged. There are many things left to being a gentleman that everyman would enjoy. For instance, knowing how to make a good pot of coffee or having a handful of knots in your arsenal. Knowing a thing or two about gadgets would definitely be a positive. Give simple directions with patience. This includes directions to the closest gas station, the best barber in town, and even the nicest place to pick up a custom suit. Add a good amount of knowledge in the areas of sports, politics, history, economics, and even a small dose of religion and you are well on your way to joining the gentleman’s table. Keep in mind that no one likes to be around someone who knows too much about one particular subject and not enough about another. Being well-rounded is one of the best secrets of being a gentleman. Now there that just about does it, but it seems I’m forgetting something.
Aah yes, let’s not forget about guns and alcohol. It’s not just James Bond–learning to open, pour, sample, and describe wines/champagnes is a must. Also, knowing how to order a drink. Yell at the bartender and you will quickly find yourself not getting the white Russian you are wanting. Handle your gun better than your alcohol. Handle your alcohol better than the average Jersey Shore aficionado and you are set.
Think you got all that? Here’s a quick review. A gentleman is a man who knows how to react appropriately to any situation, knows how to put himself in the right situations, and to remove himself from the sticky ones. He knows how to write, talk, and listen with intelligence, patience, and respect. He is a man of integrity. He knows a thing or two about everything and generally is the type of guy that a gentleman or a lady would want to hang out with. He knows how to protect what is his while using violence as a last resort. He knows just as much about dressing nicely as he does about sports. He knows how to respectfully disagree with an opponent. And, most importantly, if you are boasting about being a gentleman you most certainly are not one. A true gentleman continues in seeking to be a gentleman even if he has already become one.
Over the past few days I have spent a significant amount of time dealing with a particular problem. I have once again come face to face with an old foe. Many times, I’ve been taunted by the elusive dream of one day perfecting my penmanship. Ever since I walked into my first writing class, clutching my pencil anxiously, I have battled to my wit’s end with a piece of sharpened lead. It always seemed that other kids were gifted with handwriting; I couldn’t tell mine apart from the scribbles of a toddler in Sunday school. Why did other kids seem to have it so easy? Was it their pens? practice? a gift from the gods? Surely there was some secret that I had somehow missed.
.
I was going over an article a few days ago, much to my surprise, it suggested that the problem with my writing was none of the above. It was a fundamental problem with how I learned to write. I compared my writing to the article and found that I draw my letters with my fingers, meanwhile my arm stays firmly planted until I need to move it for more space on the page (which is quite often.). Instead of this technique, which causes cramped and sloppy writing, it suggested that I hold my fingers as still as possible. At this point, my arm and wrist would take over the work, thus relaxing the tension in my hand and creating smooth and beautiful writing.
I decided to do a quick random experiment with some folks from the office. I decided that based on my small study that this theory would be “plausible”, as Myth Busters would put it. At this moment I haven’t seen much improvement because I’m constantly finding myself reverting back to my crippling former writing position. I can only hope that with a bit of perseverance and a lot of patience, I will somehow be able to master writing and finally remove this proverbial albatross from around my academic neck.
Struggles with obesity and poor health are unfortunately too common in the world! Take myself for example, It seems like yesterday that I looked at the scales, as a 17-year-old high school graduate, weighing in at 230. I can still remember the thought that ran through my mind that day. Okay, I now weight 230. I don’t know what to do! As I began to rationalize with myself another thought ran through my mind. Well, I’m okay but I will never see 240, but if I do, then I will make a change– then I will be healthy. I can still remember that thought to this day because it’s the same thought that has skunked me from my dreams of being fit and healthy almost my entire life. As I hit the scales, periodically, I would notice 250 and think the same thought. Okay, but never 260. As I hit 270 I would begin to reason with myself that at least I wasn’t at 280. Of course, as you may have guessed this continued over the course of a few years until I was 23 years old and weighed 302 lbs.
As I looked down at the scale I could hardly believe my eyes. How did this happen? As I thought back on the past 6 years trying to pin point my failures I began to realize that this was finally more than I can handle. I’d finally had enough. Unknown to me at the time, my body was beginning to have enough too. You see I had spent a lot of time caring for others while working as an Emergency Medical Technician and as ironic as it may seem my health was declining as I tried to improve the overall health of those in my community. My job was not to blame, I was. It was I who had taken nutrient poor foods and stuck them in my body. It was I who had practiced an overall poor lifestyle and yet somehow was expecting results different from what I deserved.
I looked down at that scale, which read 302 lbs, it was surprising to me how this time felt so different. I had crash dieted, starved myself, and tried to out exercise a bad diet. As you now know I had been highly unsuccessful. So, as I got off the scale and sat down at the nurses station, I anxiously waited for the nurse to tell me my blood pressure. 150/92, It was not quite what I had expected, but it was everything I deserved. Basically, I was helpless. I knew that if I didn’t change something fast that it was over. I could no longer ignore my sluggishness, general weakness, and occasional chest tightness. I decided that day something had to be done.
I went home and started researching. It wasn’t long before I found Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead. It was a documentary shadowing the detoxification of an Australian businessman named Joe Cross. I had barely finished the film before I had made my mind up that I was going down to the store to buy my very own juicer. I decided I was going to do this “juice fast” as long as it took for me to detox and be able to embrace a lifestyle change. It took about 2 weeks to detox. Then I decided to go an extra 3rd week, in which I slowly introduced solid food back into my diet. I lost 22 pounds in those 2 weeks, keeping it off during the 3rd. Thanks to Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead I was detoxed and ready to adopt a healthy lifestyle. I recalled that while watching Joe’s film that he met with a Doctor specializing in treatment through diet. His name was Dr. Furhman. I decided that I had to see what this man had to say about health and wellness.
Dr. Furhman had a book called Eat to Live. I decided that since I had given myself a good jump-start on weight loss and detoxified my body of all the toxic waste in my system, I would give this book a read. While reading Eat to Live I came across a term I had not heard before, a Nutritarian. Over the next few days I read what Dr. Furhman had to say about this strange new title. I learned about choosing foods that where rich in nutrients and lower in calories. I also learned about the health risk of consuming too much of certain kinds of foods such as meats and dairy. Lastly, I learned how to fortify my body with essential nutrients and vitamins through my intake of fruits and vegetables. I had made a huge discovery in my quest for health. This blog is the result of that discovery. (It is my goal to go into further details about The Nutritarian Life in further post.) Since I first decided to make a change, back in September, my blood pressure dropped to 120/80 and I now have a total weight loss of 60 lbs. I still have a few pounds until my goal weight is reached, but I have no plans of turning back now! I also have decided to go back to school to become a registered dietitian.
For more information about Fat Sick and Nearly Dead check out www.fatsickandnearlydead.com
For more information about Eat To Live check out www.drfurhman.com
